I have over 20 posts sitting in my drafts folder. They lack words but they are full of pictures of moments that have happened since my last post in February. Memories that I wanted to share but couldn’t find the proper words to explain, to describe what’s been happening in our lives. I was trying to get past a creative block and I was having such a hard time. The words wouldn’t come. I couldn’t see the world through my lens like I used to. I struggled to find motivation to do the things that I loved to do. It was incredibly frustrating but I finally started to break that block a little at a time.
I have all these ideas that I want to see come to life. Goals that I have created for myself and our family but I am just trying to figure out how to balance it all. I think part of my problem is that I was trying to do too much. I wanted to fit all of these wonderful things into our homeschool and family life. We wanted to travel and see amazing places, be inspired and create memories, which we did. But I couldn’t balance everything and I let it start to stress me out. I found myself in this funk that I desparetely wanted to get out of but couldn’t.
I got upset with myself because life was good but I wasn’t embracing it like I wanted to. Then one day I decided it was enough. I was tired of being frustrated and letting things get to me. I wanted to enjoy life with my kids, my family. I wanted to see the little moments and savor them. I had to let go of some things. I had to simplify.
I don’t need to fit everything in. Things can wait and we do not have to do every single lesson or project that I have planned for school. We don’t have to see a new place every month. We can take our time and just s l o w down.
Once I let go of the idea that I had to get everything done, make everyone happy, create this wonderful homeschool experience, the block started to lift. I started to find the beauty in the mundane again, the little moments, the normal places and things of our life.
I was inspired again. It feels good to feel like myself again.
Life is going to get busy. It’s inevitable, but I have the power to say no when I need to. I have the power to not let it get to me like it did before. I have to be okay with busy when the season in life calls for it but I can find the balance. I have to or else I won’t be the best version of myself and that doesn’t serve anyone well.
So, with all that being said, I feel the urge to blog again. I’m not going to make any promises that it will be on a regular basis, because let’s be honest, that’s never really been my thing. But, I do have so much to share from the time I wasn’t blogging. Summer. Europe. Life. Colorado. The house. The kids. It may take me months to get caught up because we have other things that are happening but I will get caught up one day. And not knowing that day is okay with me.